FUNK - E - ChickenBubba was right...but not TOTALLY right. He told me that he was afraid that I would falter in my faith...which I kind of have. It is more like being distracted...which is VERY easy for me to do. What rocks about this is that I haven't faltered for as long as I usually do. (Consequently, I LOVE proving him wrong...and HATE telling him he is right...well, sort of...he is a VERY wise man.)
The rollercoaster valleys and peaks aren't as dramatic as they once were, but they are still there...and I know that they always will be. If I could identify them coming, I could brace myself. One thing that I do know is that when I skip church two weeks in a row, I, without fail, head into a valley. I love the weekly encouragement that church gives. I also know that reading my Bible, doing some sort of study, and reading christian blogs assists me with not being distracted. Here is where my "little brain" is often allowed to take control...and hinder me from these daily types of devotions. If I begin to read my Bible study, or the Bible, or my blog friends, and it deems that I will not be able to concentrate, then the tasks become too difficult. When this happens, I give up...notice the fact that I have NOT done any of my LBY study, or cleaned my bathroom yet. I have a hard time grasping monumentous tasks...on a couple of occasions...and I give up. I hope to try again...with the study...and the bathroom.
My BIG struggle today is the fact that I OFFICIALLY start my new job tomorrow. I have been in training, but tomorrow, I will be making my first round of calls. I am terrified. I know how to do this, I know my products, but I am afraid. What if they don't like me? What if I don't make a good impression? What if they ask me about my "hiding" from the industry for the last year? What if they can't see past the fact that my former employer taught me all of the wrong things, and that I have learned from it. What if I go into these places and puke all of this on them?
I am going to try to pray A LOT today, and every day in regard to this. I also have therapy tonight...I could use some tools/advice on how to overcome all of this.
So there you have it...my FUNK - E - Chicken dance for today....could someone PLEASE change the music?